BREAKING: McGregor Only Allowed to Tickle Mayweather with a Feather in Rematch

Fight fans are rejoicing over the news that they will have to find another $100 to pay for Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather’s rematch. Having fought an ultimately one-sided bout in Las Vegas in 2017, the amount of money they will make from a second fight means that they are going to do it again

Having fought under the Queensberry Rules in the “Money Fight” last year, the word is that they will take the fight to the Octagon for their second bout. UFC fans were very surprised to hear that the veteran boxer – who has next to no commonly known MMA experience – would risk his health in a sport known to take no prisoners.

Mayweather, 41, may have abandoned his “Pretty Boy” moniker a long time ago, but that does not mean that he will be willing to allow his face to suffer the effects of McGregor’s elbows, knees, kicks, and punches. The fight will be contested under “modified MMA rules”. What exactly are these rules, however?

The Modified Rules Mayweather vs. McGregor II Will be Fought Under

In a leaked document obtained by some guy in a pub in Dublin, Ireland, we got the scoop on how the fight will be fought. The rules are far from what MMA fans are used to seeing when they watch any fight, so these may or may not come as a surprise to some.

The rules are as follows:

  • Both fighters will be wearing 4 oz gloves
  • Both fighters will be barefoot
  • McGregor must not use any kicks, elbows, takedowns, or submissions on Mayweather
  • McGregor must not insult Mayweather’s bald head
  • McGregor must not talk at any point in the fight
  • McGregor must wear a blindfold with the TMT logo on the front
  • McGregor must hop with one leg for the entirety of the fight
  • McGregor is only allowed to tickle Mayweather with a feather, as a means of attack
  • The Nevada State Athletic Commision must check that the feather has no stray strands, which could hurt Mayweather during the course of the fight
  • The UFC must install an Olympic-standard running track throughout the arena
  • Mayweather must be allowed to sit down and paint a picture of $100 dollar bills at any point during the fight
  • Floyd Mayweather Sr. must be appointed as referee for the bout

McGregor Ready to Compromise

Conor McGregor has reportedly agreed to the rules of the fight and justified them by claiming that everyone must ‘compromise’ to see that the bout happens:

“You know, everyone has to compromise at some point, yeah? This is war, this is two animals from the biggest kingdoms clashing against one another for the right to claim themselves as the best fighter in the animal galaxy,” McGregor may or may not have told some guy in New York this week. “Floyd will not know what hits him when I swing that feather towards his jaw. This will be carnage, this will be mayhem.

“Just cos I won’t be able to see Floyd, to hit Floyd… look, I’ll be bouncing around on one bleedin’ leg, for f**k sake. I don’t care, cos I am the greatest fighter to have ever graced the fight game.”

Mayweather Taking no Chances

Mayweather agrees that there are modifications needed to make another few hundred million dollars at the expense of naive fans make the fight happen:

“Ah, look. You know, Conor McGregor is one hell of a competitor. One hell of a competitor. He’s a great competitor, and we will compete,” Mayweather probably didn’t say to our reporters. “I know that Conor is a great competitor, so we will see Conor being a great competitor… Conor won’t see sh*t with that blindfold on, but he is a great competitor.”

Mayweather vs. McGregor II PPV Will Come with a Free Gift for Fans

In a bid to sweeten fans up, it has also been announced that Mayweather vs. McGregor II will include a free online IQ test for those willing to buy the PPV. This allegedly has nothing to do with fans’ intellectual capacity but is seen as a means to make up for the pointless boxing bout in August 2017.

Fans paid almost $100 dollars in the USA for the privilege to watch a man who had never boxed in a professional capacity be eventually dominated by one of the greatest of all time. With a little hype and promotion, these same fans could even pay more next time around.